I’ve had a lot of really crappy stuff happen to me in the last few years. I always try and be optimistic, thinking “Well, maybe this is for the best and things will work out for the better.” Unfortunately it seems I am wrong half the time and have to continue struggling.
I’m always trying to do my best, but it never seems to produce results. It makes me sick to think nothing I do contributes to bettering my situation.
The one good thing I have are people in my life that stick by me. In the past even that has been shaky, but at this time I have some real solid friends and family.
The most disappointing aspect in my life is my artwork. I know I have skill and talent, but I just can’t seem to break through with anything. Of course there’s always room for improvement, but I’m not so novice that my work isn’t sell-able. I call it the Van Gogh affect. A big hurdle is money… I don’t have the resources I really need to promote myself. I’m struggling just to make a living.
I’m also much less productive now then I was in the past, when I was younger. I’ve just pushed myself for so long my heart has been ripped apart from failure after failure. Plus I’m usually spent after work, it becomes difficult to get my motivation up to produce anything… though I do try! I do! I have a couple of pieces in different stages of completion.
I’m just at a low with life. I need at least my finances to stable out so I can put more effort into my own work. It just makes me incredibly sad to think I’m going to continue to struggle all my life.